week 2 . 2021
Well guys, we’ve made it through Week 2. Chicago abruptly went from 90 degress to 60 degrees an rainy, so it feels like football is officially here to stay.
This week started with - an exciting game between the Giants and the Football Team? I’d hunkered down to watch bad vs. bad, but didn’t realize it could actually be exciting. The Giants lost on a last minute off sides call that resulted in a re-kick and the game. We’ll talk about the Julio Jones touchdown later, I think this was the second worst call this whole week. And while the internet says it was a bad call, but we all know the NFL isn’t great with apologies for, well anything.
The Sunday morning games resulted in a whole bunch of blow out matches, every quarterback getting hurt within 5 minutes, and the Bears managing a win and hurting Andy Dalton so we get to finally see Justin Fields this week. Sunday resulted in Tyrod Taylor, Tua, Andy Dalton, AND Carson Wentz being injured. There was a minute where Baker Mayfield also hurt himself but I think he hyped himself back into shape. The most outrageous thing to come out of these injuries was talk that the Dolphins might “restart their conversations with Deshaun Watson”? I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me that 22 counts of sexual abuse wouldn’t even phase Florida.
The afternoon games brought 3 out of 4 games being decided right at the end, and my favorite event with the Vikings kicker missing a field goal to lose the game.
Kansas City and Baltimore gave us the Sunday Night game of our dreams, but I’d like to raise the flag on one celebration. Should we all do a life check on Byron Pringle who thought it was a good idea to do a Ray Lewis celebration? We all know he murdered people, right?
What is really the most important topic for me coming out of Sunday is the new taunting rule. I’m 99% sure every time it was called it was incorrect, and I have to say its going to limit my recruiting for BroNation if I can’t see any taunting and need to rely on the full blown fights to pick my players.
BroNation Power Rankings
Julio Jones
I mostly am not a fan of my fellas having any success taken away from them, so he gets the shoutout this week because he managed to remember to play the game this week, and he had an amazing touchdown they took back from him.
we all agree we see green there, right? he’s in.
2. Stefon Diggs
Last week felt confusing when I didn’t get to see much swag or many points from Diggs. Thankfully the swag is back in full force and I can continue my application process to be invited to the Bills Mafia. The Bills winning 35-0, albeit against the Dolphins, is the kind of energy I need from them this season. This side eye from Diggs after his catch is what got him to this spot:
3. Najee Harris
Yes, this is a pre-mature power ranking for Najee, but we all know I’m a sucker for a running back that takes people out like a bulldozer down the field, and I’m pretty sure he’ll be doing that all season. I also read that Marshawn Lynch is his mentor? So sign me up for the two of them being best friends. This stiff arm tho - how is that not in the best things that happened this week?
4. Gronk
What i think none of us anticipated this year was the Manning Brothers actually stealing Monday Night Football. Their commentary, guests, and general awkward antics are better than both games we’ve seen so far. They had the OG BroNation frat boy on Monday night and he took the internet by storm saying he doesn’t watch film. Part of me loves this (just be a beast), and part of me hates this (I think i secretly like the idea that he’s a bafoon in public but super smart secretly). Either way, Gronk is always good TV.
Bros in the PreGame
Budda Baker
I’m not sure if Budda brings much BroNation to the table, but I couldn’t not give him a shoutout for his flare getting off the field. I’ve seen the no hands front jump before, but he’s bringing some new tricks to the table this year:
Lamar Jackson
Lamar can’t be in the power rankings because I’ve never committed to a BroNation quarterback since Kaepernick, and I don’t think I’ll start with an anti-vax one who literally keeps getting Covid. All of that aside, Lamar is an absolute beast. Between throwing the ball while jumping in the air - to flipping into the end zone, his Sunday night performance to finally beat Mahomes is worth a spot somewhere on the list.
Getting Bro Looks
Kyler Murray
This week brought me something I didn’t know I needed - which is internal team shit talking. The weekend started with some back and forth twitter action between Murray and Chandler Jones, and it ended with a TD celebration in honor of the insults. Is this everything I need from football? Pretty much.
90% sure Chandler Jones is in my top 5 people to not start a fight with.
I saw one article that claimed he’s never seen Star Wars and didn’t know what he was doing, and frankly I refuse to accept that.
The Recaps
What it do…j pugh 143.06
Field of Bros 126.52
I’ll just get my losing recap out of the way first. Mostly Lamar Jackson (see his shoutouts earlier) carried Jason to victory, but he got a good amount of help from Brandin Cooks and Terry McLaurin. Brandin Cook’s moment to show us what he’s got is this week when he goes from a B-Team QB to the backup for that B-Team QB.
What I’m most confused about is how Herbert could have this amazing throw, and still only get me 14 points? I am devastated I didn’t play Teddy Bridgewater and take my team to victory with Jason’s Broncos leading the way … next time.
Tompa Bay of pig skins 137.94
Fresh Prince of Helaire 101.42
If anyone had warned me that this was the year Julie figured out fantasy, I would have never believed you. Turns out it took over 5 years of drafting for her to find out there were cheat sheets - so really its just a shoutout to the internet.
Julie had the week that literally every other fantasy owner of Derrick Henry had, and there was no chance that Ross would be able to beat her. Everything about Henry makes me want to have him in BroNation, but despite 900 touchdowns a game I’ve yet to see a good celebration. Can we also all agree his hair is the worst thing in football?
Sarah Sarah 108.36
Chirag Chirag 94.54
I’m taking any and all suggestions for both Sarah and Chirag’s team name - so Sean give me your most offensive pass at it. Sarah didn’t have too many standout performances, all of her guys just averagely showed up for her, which apparently is all she needs.
Chirag on the other hand has to be so angry he essentially lost because Jameis was being, well, Jameis. How do you go from beating the Packers 38-3 to losing to the Panthers 26-7? A whole bunch of inconsistency is how. Can’t wait to go on this Jameis journey…
Sean Lost This Year 149.00
Hardman’s Hardon 140.62
The real MVP this week is Craig, who also modified his team name to really pour salt in the wound for Sean. We all know Sean went into Monday night thinking he won, and much like this Craig said - nuh uh. Never celebrate too soon, Sean.
Craig really owes his entire victory to Aaron Jones. He wore a necklace with his dad’s ashes in it, lost that necklace, had four touchdowns, and then found the necklace. Just your typical Monday night rollercoaster. This was his 3rd TD, when Sean still had a chance to win.
Cooper’s Kupp 132.10
Aaron Rodger’s Lack of Cup 119.72
Did anyone anticipate the whitest man in the NFL being the one that really brought Richie to victory? Not much glory in this being your namesake.
The only thing worse than this was the Packers having a great game. Mind you, they were playing Jared Goff and the Lions … but there was more life in that game than being blown out by the Saints. Also, I got a small reminder why I think Aaron Rodgers is the absolute worst, let’s not pretend you’re cool, A-A-ron.
Diane Diane 126.00
Dak Dynasty 105.18
Diane - you’re essentially a mascot professional - we know you can name your team. Let’s see what you got next week.
Kyler Murray is really leading Diane to her victories, but if Barkley is able to get his feet under him again she might become a real threat. Watching Barkley get tackled hard while Daniel Jones runs away with the ball is a special level of sad tho…
Another rough outlook for Erik’s team is Nick Chubb being out for 6-8 weeks. I’m not even sure if he gets his own yards as is tho - just needs a little push?
And we’re onto Week 3. Here’s to dance celebrations, taunting calls, and all the swaggy behavior.