week 15: the recap
Well, guys, we have ALMOST made it to the end of the season. We at least are about to enter our last weekend for fantasy football … and then the real recaps start when I can focus all my attention on BroNation and not the league.
This does also mark the beginning of the part of the season where I could watch football analysis shows all day and still not understand who needs to win and who needs to lose to make it to the playoffs. I’m accepting SuperBowl predictions any time anyone wants to throw those around.
Now, I have to admit it has been a LONG time since I watched football and recapped. A special thank you to Ross for picking up the torch for me while I was out of the country. No thank yous to the rest of the league who took it as a chance to talk trash about me being commissioner and deciding to take a vacation.
A favorite of ours to bash on - we might have seen Eli Manning’s final game in the Giant’s stadium. He went out the only way I’d expect him to, throwing 3 INT but managing a win to bring him to a total record of 117-117. The definition of average. I’ll miss getting to watch him be terrible but still remembering when he beat Tom Brady in the SuperBowl.
This week also produced what might be one of my favorite things to come out of this season: The Sad Somersault. There wasn’t much to celebrate this week for the Steelers, so I feel like this sums up the game:
Game to watch this week? The Rams against the 49ers - the old guard battling the new guard that is putting in quite the effort. I’m not convinced the Rams are doing much to be BroNation notable this year, so let’s see if they can prove me wrong:
BroNation Power Rankings
Now, as we look at power rankings these week it is important to consider we’re getting towards the end of the season when we see who gets to make the official BroNation list and who is Leighton Vander Esch that just stole my heart for a week.
George Kittle | Guys. I feel like I tried to resist Kittle as a BroNation favorite, and as I’ve grown to love him this season I’m not really sure why I fought it in the beginning. His level of enthusiasm about pretty much anything is what I need more of in my life. They also talked about how blocking is his favorite thing in football, and if you can give me 120% at something that no one will give you kudos for, you deserve a second look. Also - this type of behavior will continually get you on my radar:
2. Lamar Jackson | You all know I’m hesitant to put Quarterbacks in this list - maybe they already get all the attention and someone should focus on tight ends more? But Lamar Jackson is not only putting out the most fun football to watch, he’s also been trolling his trolls since this season started and I love it. After his “not bad for a running back” comment I was listening - and after a commentator said he was harder to guard because of his dark skin and the football being hard to see - he went ahead and wore all white sleeves and gloves. Keep trolling the trolls and BroNation will keep looking, Lamar:
3. Mark Ingram | It’s impossible for me to give a shoutout to Jackson and NOT give a nod to one of my favorites. I am a real sucker for hype men. I’ve stood at more than one rap concert and dreamed of being the man waving a towel standing on top of a speaker to get the crowd going, so maybe I need “Level of Hype” as a indicator for BroNation. Mark Ingram’s level of hype is exactly where I want it to be:
4. Julio Jones | Mixed feelings on how Julio decided to show up against the 49ers that somehow knocked them into the wild card spot - but I am also always here for a good Julio Show. I 100% thought the 49ers had made it and then Julio busted out the last minute catch that took the game in the last few seconds. I think the only person who might be more impressed with Julio than I was is Matt Ryan:
5. Ryan Tannehill | This is a complicated choice for me - but I figure he’ll never make BroNation and he’s really crushing it so I feel like he can get a shoutout. In case anyone missed his absolutely insane tackle, take a look. I do LOVE a good big guy touchdown so I’m glad this tackle made up for missing out on that celebration:
I will admit that I googled Tannehill to see if there was anything else to add to my liking of him besides his great couple of weeks and all that the Googles told me was that his wife rented a car once and left an AR-15 in the trunk when she returned it. So this is his last shoutout for sure. I do miss him on the Dolphins, and will never forget that his injury allowed us all the pleasure to watch Jay Cutler come back to a game he never really loved in the first place. This alone (he’s at the bottom left):
The Stats
Highest Score: 124.72 points, Or No Luck At All (Neil) - Wellllll. This regretfully proves your point that your team is doing well you’ve just had some bad match ups. I’m not even sure who is playing for what in the consolation bracket. I’d like to submit to ESPN that I need better graphics to visualize who is coming in last place. I think this win is likely to land Neil somewhere around 8th.
Lowest Score: 66.6 points, Just My Luck (Julie) - This seems about right. Congrats on somehow beating Sarah so you shouldn’t come in last place in the end.
Biggest Whoops: Jason admitting that he was exciting last week when I beat Kelly - thinking I was the easier opponent. I might have been ranked 6th coming into the playoffs, but the Field of Bros isn’t going down without a fight.
The MatchUps
Trillionaire Club (Richie) 120.78 points
Billionaire Club (Craig) 114.02 points
Well - thankfully Richie changed his name back. But anyone in the league got to see the dramatic course of all his emotions as he changed his name every quarter to reflect jumping to a few conclusions, it was exhausting. So as expected, Richie’s team was completely unimpressive besides two players and his DEFENSE. Lamar Jackson is his entire reason for being in the playoffs, so there goes all that fantasy advice that Quarterbacks aren’t important.
What was more frustrating was to watch Craig get incredibly close to beating Richie and watching the Bills’ defense take him to victory. These guys:
Craig’s team gave a good effort, making sure that Mark Ingram was able to rack up 22 points to offset the insanity that was Lamar Jackson’s score, so let’s see how Craig does in the brutal fight for 3rd place.
Field of Bros (me) 112.18 points
JPugh What-It-Do (Jason) 97.10 points
Well. Not going to lie - I was NOT feeling great about this game after the blizzard game in Kansas City, but somehow Drew Brees brought it home for me. For anyone who missed Monday night’s game, Drew Brees broke Payton Manning’s all time touch down record. And the best part? He threw to literally everyone on the team so Jason couldn’t get too far ahead with Kamara and Michael Thomas racking up points. It’s a confusing feeling after I nominated Brees for the whitest guy in the NFL last year to have such feelings of reliance on him helping me win the playoffs next week:
So a big impact on this matchup besides Brees killing it, was the blizzard game in Kansas City. Turns out that meant that Phillip Lindsay was unable to do anything, and the announcers told me that was because he isn’t heavy enough to get and traction in the snow? I loved that reasoning so I excused his poor performance. I do wish that we had just scrapped that game and allowed it to be a snowball fight that Hill started before the game:
These conditions (close call to the 49ers playing in the flood) also give me some of my favorite celebrations:
The Consolation Games
As I mentioned before, I have no way of figuring out who is going for last place. I’ll wait for one of you to correct me in the group chat and explain it to me. A few highlights from the consolation games:
Mitches Get Stitches (Diane) 107.66 points
Back That Pass Up (Kelly) 93.5 points
This was the real battle for 5th and 6th place. Kelly chimed in mid-Sunday cursing Diane and we all couldn’t help but question that she maybe didn’t realize she lost the playoff game last week and was fighting for 5th.
Despite Matt Ryan beating the 49ers and actually having a decent game for Kelly, everyone else on her team just brought mediocrity so she was not able to take Diane down.
I’m still convinced Diane gave up on this season when she traded Michael Thomas away for Jarvis Landry. She also left Emmanuel Sanders on her bench while he was out trying to prove he was still relevant and #neverlooksugly as he proved to me over the off season on instagram.
My favorite part of Diane’s team is her best part of the team. Big shoutouts to Kenyan Drake for escaping Miami and REALLY flourishing while he lives out the rest of the year on another struggling team. At least his stats are awesome even if they can’t win.
Drop Deebo!!!!!! (Chirag) 116.16 points
Ezekiel 19:21 (Sean) 98.62 points
I wish I could tell you what place this was setting them up for - but all that really matters is that Sean lost, right? Chirag benefited from Tannehill’s BroNation worthy performances, and he got a great game out of Julio Jones, who frankly is a real rough fantasy pick since he can either explode or just get 200 yards and no touchdowns.
Sean is being saved from total disaster in the post season by Jameis Winston whose stats are absolutely killing me. He’s getting records for interceptions while also getting records for touchdown passes. Pick a lane Winston. When he first got drafted I was half on the Winston train until he went and harassed an Uber driver. As someone who has more than once accidentally utilized my Uber as a therapy session, his lack of respect shot him down the list. Well always remember the crab legs tho:
Or No Luck At All (Neil) 124.72 points
Just My Luck (Julie) 66.6 points
I appreciate that Neil controlled himself all season and stuck with Hot Chubb Time Machine, and I also appreciate this dig while he brought in the most points of the week. I think what I appreciate the most is that Neil is fighting for not last place and is still active on the waiver wires. Picking up Miles Sanders and having him be your top scorer? No one else is tracking the Eagles third string at this point - but Neil is committed. Hopefully it means he stays away from last place for sure.
Houston, We Have a Problem (Ross) 113.54 points
Chicago Placeholder (Sarah) 90.64 points
So is this for last place? All I know is that Sarah lost to Julie. So that feels like what this game is for.
Ross’ team out here getting carried by the Patriot’s Defense which is irritating every week. What I do like is that his other top scorer was a Titan’s WR who was out there scoring points against his Houston Texans. Thankfully the Texans brought Ross a win - since I heard that they did NOT do so well against the Broncos one of the weeks I was gone. What else I heard? They not only lost to the Broncos, they lost to a Broncos QB whose celebration is a nod to Buzz Lightyear…
I’ll just be over here re-opening “whitest guy in the NFL” list.
My favorite gif this week I couldn’t fit into the recap
I still don’t know what is happening here - but I love a good sloppy moment:
And we are on to our LAST WEEK OF FANTASY FOOTBALL. It is also a weekend full of saturday games and lots of math of the odds of teams making the playoffs. So I guarantee I’ll be confused most of the weekend.
Wish me luck - we should all be rooting against Richie.