week 2: the recap
Well. I have to admit that after what was possibly my worst week in Fantasy Football that I’ve ever had … I debated if I didn’t deserve to recap it. Lucky for you, I’m willing to recap my failures.
The Week
I feel like this usually comes later in the season - but this was the week of the devastating injuries.
Big Ben is OUT for the season. They showed a close up of his elbow pulsing after he re-injured it and I still feel sick.
My QB I put my faith in - Drew Brees is out for 4-6 weeks getting surgery on his thumb. I can tell you this did not go well for the Saints in their redemption game against the Rams on Sunday … and I worry what it might do to their super bowl dreams. Does this mean I get to see Kamara non stop? I could be okay with that.
Sam Darnold is out “indefinitely” with mono which has to be the most frustrating reason to not be playing. They did explain to me on Monday Night Football that the reason it could take so long to recover is that his spleen will be enlarged for months after potentially and if he gets hit his spleen could explode!?
So in his place there was Trevor Semien - which for those of you new to the recap should know holds a special place in my heart. Diane knowingly let me go a full week calling him “Semen” without correcting me until I asked out friend who went to Northwestern if he was “excited about semen”. It was not embarrassing at all. Needless to say Semen is now injured too and the Jets are onto their third backup.
I think the story of the hurt quarterback of the season is Gardner Minshew II. A few things:
I didn’t know I needed to cheer for someone like this until I saw this.
In addition to this important outfit - there are the facts that he actually isn’t a Jr. or a 2nd … so very unclear where the II comes from in is name. He also made a point about the fact that he could have been named Beowulf. These are the facts we need.
The Eagles felt like their entire team was injured on Sunday Night. I was ready to hop on the Jackson/Jeffrey duo train … but if they just leave me with Wentz I’m 100% not going to be able to get on board.
Not an injury, but the end of an era … Daniel Jones is officially the New York Giant’s quarterback. I think we all can’t wait to see Eli 2.0 take over for Eli Manning and see if he can manage to not fumble it like he’s already done.
A few happier notes aside from all of the injuries:
The Bears found their kicker! It came down to a complete cluster at the end of the Broncos game, that I still haven’t quite recovered from (Broncos scoring, going for two, penalty, kicking and missing but with a penalty so they can go for two, scoring…then the bears getting the final kick to win?!). Maybe these days are behind us:
Ramsey gave me a fight I didn’t expect - with his coach. He’s now demanding to be traded, which gives us more things to keep an eye out for. I would give anything for this situation to have been mic-ed — how his team members fly up to hold the coach back?! AH.
In case anyone else forgot like I had, Jason Witten is back in the game? I really appreciated how he told me only about defenders when he was a commentator, but his anti-bronation behavior at least gives me something to roll my eyes at. For reference, this is how Witten celebrated vs. Emmanuel Sanders:
The basic point.
The BroNation point.
The Stats
Highest Score: 124.6 points - Drop Deebo!!!!!!!! Well. Well. Well. Chirag went from Biggest Whoops last week to Highest Score. So I feel like I’d also give him “most improved” if that was an award I’d give out. He also got to watch how indecisive I am about trades this week - and he can rest easy knowing that even if I’d given him the trade he wouldn’t needed it.
Lowest Score: 61.5 points - Field of Bros This. Was. A. Rough. Week. I had to stop checking the app to stop watching my guys unable to do anything. I’d like to say though - I am still in the green on ESPN which I don’t understand (are there factuals to back it up?) but Antonio brown told me the data doesn’t lie.
Biggest Whoopsie: Julie. I think you’ve finally caught up to not trusting Cam … so feel like this one makes sense. Leaving Garopollo on the bench with 22+ points and watching Cam’s career fall apart was rough.
The Matchups
JPugh What It Do (Jason) 83.2 points
Field of Bros (Me) 61.5 points
Remember last week when I said that Julie hadn’t scored enough points to count as a game. Well…this was karma. My gut tells me to point out that Jason didn’t have the most impressive week, but I’m way more mature than that. I’ll lose gracefully.
A few key failures on my team?
Well Drew Brees got my -.5 points before he was injured and is now out for 6 weeks after surgery. I wouldn’t have gotten many more points if I’d played Carr instead, so I’m mostly just concerned about what to do with my team moving forward. It was also Aaron Donald that hurt Brees, so getting to see one of my favorite Rams take out my QB was confusing:
His face explains how I feel this week.
DeAndre Hopkins was also taken completely out of the game. You know whats really fun? When you watch all of the pregame trash talk and you note that Hopkins and Ramsey were a bit too nice to each other … and don’t think that it might be a sign that Hopkins wasn’t up for the fight:
Mahomes is really what helped Jason bring home this win - and I feel like he’s not slowing down anytime soon. Just for the league’s knowledge - Chirag wanted to trade this week for Chris Carson and give me Sammy Watkins. I’ll admit I was tempted but my fantasy draft is one of my strongest sources of loyalty and I fear giving up a player only to see him flourish. Don’t worry, I’m unpacking this one.
While Watkins was tempting, it turns out that Mahomes can straight up make every wide receiver look like a WR1 and he used all of his options on Sunday. Hopefully he works on his dance celebrations and he might have a tryout for BroNation…
Billionaire Club (Craig) 76.3 points
Just My Luck (Julie) 69.6 points
Oof. Well at least two weeks in a row we could count on Julie losing in the lowest scoring matchup. The only person Craig could have also beat was me - so that is not saying much. Julie’s highest scoring players all hovered around 12 points with Gurley, Brown and Michel all raking in those impressive numbers.
In a week full of mediocre performances, one of Craig’s decisions wasn’t awful…he got on the AP bandwagon. Adrian Peterson returned to the redskins…not is best performance, but this was also how he prepped:
Julie did get the return of her number one pick Antonio Brown and if things stay the course, i think things are looking good there. Watch him effortlessly jump into the stands after this TD. I just imagine how much of an effort that would be for all of us.
Julie’s claimed source of pain is Andrew Luck retiring, but Cam was her chosen QB and I think this meme sums it up well - maybe then you could have won?
Something we should all be upset about tho? Julie actually made a good pick and snagged Jimmy Garoppolo in the midst of the QB massacre. I’m hesitant to say that he might actually be ready to have a great season…
Back That Pass Up (Kelly) 103.7 points
Mitches Get Stitches (Diane) 102.5 points
Wow. So this one is brutal. Diane’s team really pulled it together, only to be beaten by Tom Brady. That. Is. Rough. While I’m emotionally confused with Josh Gordon and Antonio Brown being on the Patriots and making me root for them - I can’t root for Tom Brady so I’ll mostly ignore Kelly’s win because of him…
Diane has the key to what I’m hoping is way more Vikings celebrations. They brought us this gem last year and I’m waiting for some of these to return:
One of the best…
I also messed up Diane’s recap last week and reported her having 20 less points than she did (i fixed it) - but it’s hindered me wanting to say anything bad.
Drop Deebo!!!!!!!! (Chirag) 124.6 points
Chicago Placeholder (Sarah) 78.1 points
Chirag really got back on the board - and honestly feels like he didn’t change much. Turns out that Odell Beckham Jr. and Julio Jones are just worth keeping around and taking them on their bad weeks. I bet that OBJ could have had another TD if at the 3rd down the refs didn’t SUDDENLY realize that his visor wasn’t clear so they made him switch it IMMEDIATELY. I’m actually shocked we didn’t see a tantrum so I’d like to say that OBJ is maturing. I’ll never forget tho.
Now…Julioooo. Have we dug into how much I love Julio Jones? I think he stole my heart for the first time when I saw an interview where he casually repeated, “who can cover me one on one? i don’t believe anyone can.” But I’d also like to let you know that he is consistently solidifying his place in my heart with behavior like this:
Obsessed.
Not even Sarah’s number one pick Barkley could help her out of this loss. But based on this video - he might be the one who needs help:
Ezekiel 23:19-21 (Sean) 107.5 points
Houston, We Have a Problem (Ross) 106.9 points
ANOTHER close one?! This was the week. I think everyone just forgot to tell my team it was the week to put up a performance. My least favorite part of this is that Sean managed a win in a close battle, but second to that is the shock I have that the Patriots Defense is what kept Ross in this fight. Maybe that’s because the dophins are officially the team to have zero expectations about - let’s look at their past two weeks:
I would leave too. Even Fitzmagic can’t save it.
What I do appreciate is that despite this big scoring game and Ezekiel Elliot being unstoppable, Sean still wasn’t moving in a green direction. Sean had Big Ben on his team, so along with me he will be scrambling for someone this week. Sean has already boasted that he can win without a QB, so I am hoping that he will follow through on that threat. Big Ben can probably sum up how we all feel…
Lamar Jackson Collaborative (Richie) 79.5 points
Hot Chubb Time Machine (Neil) 74.7 points
I have to admit I’m pretty sad the Antonio Brown names are gone Richie - but I appreciate the pun for your work. Does Lamar know he’s part of our league now?
Lamar Jackson scored almost half of Richie’s points, so I’m not sure there is too much else to recap. I will say that each of you having the player that you named your team against be your high scorer feels really right.
I’m sure I mentioned this last year - but its a story I can’t get over. Both Nick Chubb (Browns) and Bradley Chubb (Broncos) grew up near each other because it was near CHUBB TOWN. I can’t get over it - also is this a small town where they just train football beasts? And can we go hang out there…
And we’re on to next week. In case anyone wants to join me in my Kaepernick watch, it’s officially starting. We can’t have 5 teams without their starting QB AND the Giants choosing to bench Eli without holding out some hope that BroNation can get their QB back:
I’m here for this.